Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Restless Spirit and Searching for "The Place"

Veronica has been telling me for some time that I should write more in my blog. For me, that is easier said than done. I don't believe in writing just for the sake of writing. I usually write when I have something to say, maybe an event, a thought or an idea I would like to share with others or when I feel that someone can learn from my mistakes. Putting things into writing and out into the publics eye does not come natural to me. I am a somewhat private person and I am not really comfortable putting myself "out there" for all to see. I feel that it exposes me and leaves me vulnerable. Because it does not come naturally, at times it can be work and sometimes just plain scary. Sometimes you have to throw all of your fears behind you and just go for it. With that being said, I would like to talk about something that some of you might be able to relate to...a restless spirit and trying to find "The Place". During my journey through life, I have lived in many locations. It seems that after a period of time in any one place, I find myself needing to move on and start over. With each move, there comes a level of excitement, hope and anticipation. Could this be "the place". "The place" is somewhere that I seem to be searching for and have been doing so for all of my adult life. "The place" is somewhere where I feel that I truly fit in..a place where you have real friends and are very content and happy that you actually belong there and that your search and journey has finally ended. It is a location where you go to for the first time, you stop and look around and then after using all of your senses, a special feeling comes over you. That feeling that you have arrived..the feeling that this is "THE PLACE". The life long search has ended...your destiny. You finally found it....home...."the place" where you belong. Some people are lucky and find "their place" quickly. Others, like myself, it takes a majority of their life to stumble upon it. Some never do and sometimes I fear that I might be one of them, an endless searcher. I am 53 years old and as of now I have not been able to find "The place" for me. I have learned that sometimes being homeless means more than being without the 4 walls and roof that surround you or a place to lay your head at night. To me, that is being houseless. This is by no means making light of those who are homeless in the traditional sense of the word. I live in a house but I still consider myself as being homeless. I just haven't found "the place"... "the place" where my spirit soars and my soul is happy and content.....my home. I will continue on my journey through life, searching for " the place" for me...that special place where I belong and always have. Until then, my search goes on and I will continue being homeless.

1 comment:

Toni said...

Rick -- the thing about 'exposing' the deep thoughts (& I TOTALLY SHARE THAT FEAR) is suddenly discovering how many people are chewing away on the same bone -- and suddenly someone like you says it out loud and it FREES them, to own it, say it, think about it, talk about it ...

I have a ton to say about this but I'm thinking an email is best. GOOD POST, BABY!!!!

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